In my previous post, I wrote about a new horror story I am working on. At first I was really excited about it. But now, I am not so sure because of the horrid feeling the first chapter gave me.
Ghost Moon Night is scary but does not have a pervasive feeling of evil. Whereas this new chapter involving coconuts (I am trying to write this with a straight face) makes me feel dark and dismal and dread-y if there is such a word. Thank goodness for a goofball sort of hero, or I'd have stopped at page five.
I am not sure I want to channel this story to life.
***
So I took a break and wrote another first chapter to a YA novel and the feeling is like light and day. The characters still are flawed and there will be major conflicts, but for the first time in a long time, I felt - emotion! Sadness. Wistfulness. Happiness. As I closed the scene, I felt like I was writing something that could illuminate the human experience. I am usually unsentimental in my fiction and avoid Hallmarky stories, but I really enjoyed writing this. The words flow and I do not grit my teeth over the effort.
Truth is, unleashing emotion on the page scares me. It is powerful but makes me feel utterly vulnerable.
***
I cannot imagine not writing horror anymore. It's been such an integral part of my writing life, hence this blog.
But what goes in has to have a source, and I'm just not sure I want to be the receptacle of all that.
My name is Jewel. Welcome to my blog!
As a young girl growing up in the Philippines, I always hoped for storms so ferocious that school would have to be cancelled. And when it was cancelled, my siblings and I got to stay home. Usually there was no electricity, which we called "black out".
Who cared about the storm outside when we had wax from the candle, to mold into a human shape and stick pins in...just kidding, we weren't really into voodoo. Anyway, along with the wax sculpting, we exchanged suspenseful stories, of ghosts and aswang and the mananaggal.
This blog is dedicated to that spine-tingling story, of things imagined or real. Come on in, grab a blob of wax and join me around the table.
Who cared about the storm outside when we had wax from the candle, to mold into a human shape and stick pins in...just kidding, we weren't really into voodoo. Anyway, along with the wax sculpting, we exchanged suspenseful stories, of ghosts and aswang and the mananaggal.
This blog is dedicated to that spine-tingling story, of things imagined or real. Come on in, grab a blob of wax and join me around the table.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Out of the Darkness
Posted by Jewel Allen at 11:39 PM
Labels: Ghost Moon Night, writing horror
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6 comments:
Freaked yourself out, eh? Must be good...
Remember, those who face their shadow side tend to be a lot healthier.
I always liked the quote by Shirley Jackson: "I delight in what I fear".
And I agree with Blackbird. If you freaked yourself out, it must be good. :)
Blackbird: Good-bad or bad-good??
Gypsy: Mmm, did Shirley write The Lottery? I still remember that story and how shocked I was at the ending. I guess it IS interesting to explore man's dark side, I just am not sure how far to take it sometimes.
Yup, She wrote "The Lottery".
Her most famous novel is, "Haunting of Hill House". But my fave is, "We've Always Lived in the Castle". It's a macabre delight. :)
Oh, that feeling, I know it well. I had to abandon one WIP because the bad guy was so squicky. I just couldn't bear to write him anymore.
Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?
Gypsy: I'll have to check those out.
Jen: Yes! When I take no pleasure from the subject matter, I dread it. Sure there's a story, but to be with the *squicky* characters day in and day out...it messes with your head.
Same goes for reading books. I used to eat up Tess Gerritsen's novels but now I cannot read without feeling horrible, I had to stop.
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